things that really tick me off #2

It's another installment of "Things That Really Tick Me Off!" What useless object/opinion/horrible Creed-like band will I be bashing this time?

Flat soda

Yes, it's simple and stupid, but this really gets me mad. I can barely contain my anger when I open a bottle to a totally non-satisfying silence. Fuck you, I wanted this so badly to fizz with delight! This rarely happens with cans, which is really nice, and I always thought soda tasted better in cans anyway. But if you go to Bennington College (which I do) you know that we don't sell cans here (cause we're too good for them? too rich? too haughty? Who friggin knows). So I always get the bottle. And a lot of the time, my bottles open silently. Silence = bad.

This also seems to happen in the dining hall a whole lot. I'm already angry enough going to get my soda because they don't have Dr. Pepper, which is, and feel free to take me up on this debate, the best soda there is out there. No doubt. I adore it and think it tastes delicious. It's just a complex palette of flavor, something Coke doesn't do for me (and we're not even going to talk about Pepsi because I hate it's stupid face). But then I get even angrier after getting my Coke because I walk all the way back the table and it's flat And I swear to God it is always flat when I get it from the fountain. Or it was this last term. What's wrong with our soda fountain? How complex a piece of machinery is it to work? Everyone has one. I hear people have even been installing them in their homes (I might have made that up for argument's sake.)

So in the end, it just tastes like syrup water. I do NOT want to be reminded of what I'm drinking, thank you. Yes I know it's just sugar water. So sue me! I love it! I drink it a lot.

Now you all know of my unhealthy eating habits too. Whatever. I can never seem to get over 125 lbs. anyway. But a girl can dream, right? Gotta keep drinking that straight up Coca Cola syrup! Thanks Bennington!

PS Wait, wait...maybe I didn't make up that part about people putting soda fountain's in their homes! Look how easy it is to buy one ebay! And notice they call it a "Home" one! Plus there's this one all pro with logos and everything. Mm tasty. A sub-par yet filling meal was never so easy.

thing that really ticks me off #1

Welcome the first of many installments.
I thought that when I don't have anything in particular to rant/joke around/make lists about, I can pull out one of these and they basically provoke the same effect. Plus, I have bucket loads. Obviously.

Let's start off with a simple, yet tragic, one:
The realization that I will never live in another time period

Okay, so this may sound petty and spoiled and all around neurotic but honestly, it really does annoy me. I can't say I am a huge fan of this day and age; there are things I love but there are also things I really strongly dislike. And while other decades and eras had their downfalls as well (as an example, no modern medicine in the Dark Ages was pretty bad) I've always thought it would be amazing to just live for a day in a world like that. Part of me would do absolutely anything to spend one afternoon in Victorian London (yeah, that's right: I'd risk the rib breaking corsets and diseases in the streets for one true period tea time crumpet). I also of course would love to hang out at Woodstock in the 1960s, or fight my way into a Beatles concert, screaming my guts out like all those insane girls you see in old footage.

Top three periods I would travel back to:
1) The 1960s
2) The 1920s
3) Louis XIV France, provided I could be a noble in court

Yes, I will change my gender to make it back there. Can time machines do that? It should be a function or a button you press.

I would totally skip over Napoleon France and Woodraw Wilson America. They were annoying, in office for too long, and racist. And we liberal San Franciscans will not stand for that.

Until later, my friends. What era would you return to?