So, as of late I have been feeling really nostalgic for my past self when I was sweet and innocent and didn't have any of these problems...EXCEPT NOT. FUCK THAT. I can't remember a time I'd like to go back to right now at all. Irregardless, I have been rereading old xanga and lj entries. Not because I am pining for my middle school/high school angsty self, but more due to the fact that I am bored, since I finished all my final projects early. My xanga has really proven to be eye opening and, frankly, terrifying. I've had it since I was in 8th grade so it's really the gem of my adolescent life.
Lets go back 3 years ago!
This is from May 17th, 2006, on my xanga site:
"It's late. Again. Theater.
But I'm going to see Jack's Mannequin in 6 days so I can't sleep. And tomorrow is opening night for Roberto Zucco. WOWDY WOW WOW. I can't wait. Gonna be so much fun. I just hope all goes well.
Right now, I am obsessed with these things:
- Shuffle on Yahoo Music Engine
- Creating my new style
- Jack's Mannequin everything
- Cleaning my room
- Zines and such
- Coca-cola
I just can't get over them. They're so rad.
And now, to that boy...
"I don't think you care to know but you've taken out my heart and my soul."
-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
*sigh* "
END FLASHBACK.
Okay. Distubring? Yes. Haunting? Yes. But SO CUTE RIGHT? Eh, maybe.
I'd like to annotate the problems with myself in this post though, from my new self stance. Yes, my from my new cynial, artist, college student, west coast loving yet Vermont hippie stance:
1) Jack's Mannequin - I was OBSESSED back then. So obsessed. But I haven't listened to them in a good two years and when their new album came out last year I didn't even look at it. Wow. Somehow though, they still have a place in my heart. How I adore thee, Andrew McMahon, and I always will.
2) Roberto Zucco was a play I was in 10th grade. It was about a serial killer. It was terrifying. All I did was scream as he murdered a child onstage. What the fuck was my high school thinking?
3) "WOWDY WOW WOW" - a quote from my favoritre MST3K movie "Eegah." I still like it, so I can live with this part of the post. However I can't believe I referenced it in writing and in all caps. I'm great.
4) Yahoo Music Engine - oh Lord what a terrible program. Thank God I got over my hatred for Apple enough to just fricking download iTunes.
5) "Creating my new style" - I AM SO EMBARSSED BY THIS. I WANTED TO BE INDIE AND COOL BUT ALL I LOOKED WAS CONFUSED.
6) Jack's Mannequin again - see above. Yeah.
7) Coca-cola - random much? I do remember 10th grade being stressful and daunting and so I used to drink a lot of Coke from the vending machines at school to stay awake in classes where I wanted to kill myself/kill the material being taught.
8) "They're so rad" - NO. AAH.
9) The quote directed towards a boy - Oh, past self. You. Have. No. Fucking. Clue. What. You. Are. Going. To. Experience. Just wait till college. Then tell me who really has your heart and soul.
That felt good.
But in all seriousness...I wouldn't change a thing about my life so far. Really. I would not.
IN OTHER NEWS
I am almost done with my first year of college! Only 6 days left and then I am homeward bound! God that makes me so happy.
I will miss this place a lot though. Next term is going to be amazing, I know it.
CHEERS. Sorry for the long post.
