dissapointing albums

So, as some of you may know, I just finished my first year of college. Overall, it was awesome. 8/10. I had a wonderful year and all was dandy and drunken (and educational, of course. DUH).

But in my second semester, things had kind of gone haywire and the ridiculous small size of my school/it's remote location started to get to my head and I broke down. I got stressed out easily and ended up yelling at a lot of people (read: I was a bitch to most of my friends about half the time). I felt like everything around me was just disappointing and miserable, and to help solace this fact, I started to write a lot of lists. Most specifically, I made lists of things that had disappointed me in the past. This is one such list. It is a list of albums that put me off the second they dropped. I listened, I cried, I broke something, then I wrote a shitty review on some inane music website.

Wolf Parade's At Mount Zoomer
Seriously, what the hell? My brother says he blames Spencer Krug, but I don't think the whole thing can be caused by one person. It was kind of one giant mess and what made it even worse was that their first album was absolutely fucking incredible. To place them next to each other is kind of horrendous. This is all without even touching upon the titles of the songs, the title of the album, the lyrics, and the cover. Oh man.

Beirut's March of the Zapotec
A friend of mine put this in such a good way. He said he was sick of Zach Condon "butchering" different culture's music into "stereotypes." While I did really enjoy his first two albums, and I adored Lon Gisland EP, this semi-retarded third album really pushed the envelope. It is just terrible. Really terrible. It sounds like a mariachi band hired by some crap business for their company picnic that no one wants to attend. I say Zach should have stuck to the gypsy folk tunes.

of Montreal's Skeletal Lamping
Bah. I can't even talk about this. After the incredible Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer? I spent months and months waiting in anticipation for the follow up to a god-like album. Well, if Hissing Fauna was a god, Skeletal is some kind of poor mortal praying to be better. I did not enjoy it. In fact, I barely gave it a second listening before deleting it from my itunes (Itunes? iTunes? Whatever, Apple, suck it). You have to be kidding me, of Montreal. Lucky for you, I still bought a ticket to see your wonderful live show in July.

Swan Lake's Enemy Mine
Bad. Bad bad bad. It irks me that an indie super group like Swan Lake can't seem to make one solid album. "Beast Moans" had select tracks here and there that were very good but on a whole just couldn't seem to feel like a coherent set of songs. Not to mention some of the tracks were pretty terrible on their own. "Enemy Mine" is worse than this. Barely any of the songs stand on their own, however they don't work together either! There is no way out of this musical hell hole! You guys should be incredible! Sit down, stop trying to outdo each other in every track, and write a good song! I feel like Swan Lake's problem is that all the different members force feed their musical style and genres onto the other members. We've got some intense Sunset Rubdown references, mushed with New Pornographers barely making it in, finishing with a topping of Frog Eyes meets Destroyer. Not. A. Kosher. Mix.

Weezer's Green Album
Pinkerton to this? Oh god. They redeemed themselves a bit in the future, but...I miss really old school Weezer (and I was barely self aware for that period. Sad.)

Xiu Xiu's Women as Lovers
As someone who is not afraid to admit that Xiu Xiu is one of their absolute favorite bands (I own two shirts and every album), I was really upset when I heard this album. Even for Xiu Xiu it is pretty non-cohesive and nonsensical. This time it just doesn't happen in such a good way. I hope the next one, "Dear God, I Hate Myself", is much better. I already love that title. Jamie Stewart, make me proud.

Voxtrot's Voxtrot
I adored their EP and listened to it pretty regularly for a long time. I even saw them live and went backstage since a friend was dating the lead singer (score!). They were super nice guys and very down to earth. That's why I feel like this is a personal attack. So I will hold off on the insulting metaphors and similes and just say: this could have been much better. Besides "Kid Gloves", nothing hit me from this at all.

Architecture in Helsinki's Like It Or Not
I don't even really want to talk about this that much. Sorry. Just. Yeah. Fuck you AIH for courting me with your live show and then pulling this shit on me.

Bon Iver's Blood Bank
Okay, so, I'm not a huge Bon Iver fan to begin with. Sure, his music is pretty and ethereal, dreamy and haunting, but it's not that original. Nor is it overly gorgeous. I also find him to be kind of boring. But I liked the first album, "For Emma Forever Ago". I listen to it on occasion and if it comes up on shuffle, I won't skip it 8 times out of 10. But this Blood Bank crap? So awful. The songs are boring, without structure or purpose. It sounds like he was shooting for an experimental side but it just fell flat. "Woods" is the worst track. I can't even listen to the whole thing through.

The Beatles' Let It Be
Seriously, WHAT were The Beatles thinking? This badly written, messy, half assed album is an insult to musicians everywhere. When I first heard this after it came out, I was like, "Gimme a break Paul and John. Way to fuck things up at the last minute." I wrote them a strongly worded letter about how much they suck. A month later, they broke up. Sorry Beatles fans. Guess that was my bad.

(But I am kidding of course).